Testimonies of SDJCC Members, December, 1996
Number 5 = Table of Contents =
| Jesus Knocked on the Door | Suzuko Burton |
| The Way to Faith | Bob Cottle |
| My Spiritual Journey | Kyoko Dicks |
| Jesus Is My Savior | Yoneko Early |
| A Love Letter to God | Kaeko Kusunoki |
| God Was Working at the Disneyland | Roy Toma |
| Love Shines on the Cross | Miki Wojtalewicz |
However, around the time my third child was born, I was invited by some friends, and started to come to church again. With the struggles of raising my children, marital relations, and work, I realized for the first time that there are some things that I can not resolve on my own strength. I was now able to openly receive the messages I heard in church. When God's word illumined my heart, I began to realize that there were unclean things within me. Through the struggles in my relationship with my husband, God made me see how prideful and strong-willed I am. Through my son, I was continually shown how narrow minded I am. I was thenable to accept the fact that these things were my sin.
God has made us in His own image. We are made wonderfully. In that sense, I suppose people are children of God. However, people, because of their sin, have marred the image of God and have lost it all together. In spite of being made wonderfully by God, we have distanced ourselves from God who created us, and are living lives that are far from being childrenof God. Yet, God continues to love us as we are and has sent His only begotten Son Jesus Christ into the world to save us. Through Jesus, we are made new, and in the true sense can become the children of God. Although I knew these things, I had some doubts in my heart and I could not yetaccept Jesus Christ to be my Savior and Lord.
However, as I studied the Bible my doubts were addressed, and I began torealize that the Bible holds the answers to my questions. My real problem was that I was keeping Jesus out of my heart. Greater than the sin within one's heart and the non-loving words that would hurt people, is the unacceptance of God's gift, Jesus Christ, as Savior and Lord. To such a person, me, God revealed these things through the lips of my six yearold son, Tsubasa. As I was driving my three children home from VBS, Tsubasa suddenly burst out in a loud voice, "Jesus knocked the door, so I let him in!" I was greatly shocked by these words. Through my son'smouth, God directed me of Revelations 3:20, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." It was at this time that I became obedient like a child and opened my heart, and I realized with certainty that it was good to receive Jesus into my heart. Although Jesus was knocking on the door of my heart for the longest time, I did not respond. However, now, I repent of my sins, and I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins, and that he rose from the dead three days later inorder to save me. Although I still do not fully understand God or Jesus, I have received Jesus into my heart and I hope to continue to deepen my relationship with Jesus. I am thankful for the many people who have been praying for me. Please continue to pray for me, that I would grow through the study of God's word.
I married my wife, Fuji, in May 1962 and we adopted our daughter, Yoko, in August 1974. I retired from the Navy in 1975 and settled down in the house where we still live in National City. In November 1985 Fuji made a statement that we should start going to church. This all came about because of our hoping to give Yoko some exposure to church. As it turned out, Fuji and I were to ones more exposed to Christ. The following Sunday, we came to the San Diego Japanese Christian Church and have been attending ever since. On Mother's Day, 1986, Pastor Sekiguchi gave the normal sermon for Mother's Day-- a sermon I had heard many times, but this time it moved me. Even though I did not go forward, I did go home and got down on my knees at my bedside and asked God to come into my life. We still have family problems, but it is so much easier now to be blessed instead of angry. I became a member that same year.
It has been a pleasure serving, but not always fun. I am learning every day to trust in God and leave my problems in His care. My praise and prayer for the church body is to become more united in Christ.
Then on one Sunday, a missionary from America came to our church and preached us a sermon. This sermon made me realize that I was a sinner, and later, I decided to repent all my sins and get baptized. Since my parents did not get along and were always fighting, I grew up being scared and hating my father. I knew my mother was not perfect, but I always took her side. Because father was sick and could not work much, mother supported our family, which is why I consistently talked back and gave him a hard time. However, after I got to know Jesus' love, I became happy and started to show love to my father. Three months later on April 18, Easter Sunday, I was baptized by the pastor of Sasebo Baptist Church. After one year on April 2, the Navy gave us permission to get married. My husband started sea duty, so we moved to Yokosuka. Soon after that, on September, he was called back to America, then I moved with him. Life in Long Beach, California was very busy. Raising the children was hard to do, and my husband was gone a lot. So, I couldn't go to church much. Of course I never dreamed that there would be a Japanese church. when my husband was home, I left the children with him and went to an American church with my neighbor. I couldn't go to the church regularly since we moved every two to three years, and before I knew it, twenty years past by.
After my husband retired from the Navy, we purchased a new house in San Diego. He found a new job and I also began working. Our children were already growing up, but in the midst of our relaxation and happiness, my husband's health began to deteriorate. He had to have major surgeries twice because of a serious illness. After the second surgery, the doctor told me that I could go back to work, but because of my husband's illness, I really couldn't focus on work. While working, a phone call had come in saying that someone had died. I immediately thought that it was my husband and my whole mind went blank and black. I began to think about how I was supposed to raise my three teenage children by myself, but I really was confused and didn't know what to do. On the way to the hospital, I asked God "why does this have to happen to me?" Later, I found out that the death of my husband was actually the death of myfather. I was extremely sad, but since my mind was full of my husband's supposed death, I couldn't think straight. Just then, I realized I was unfaithful because I always complained to God and blamed him for the horrible things that were happening to me. Through these experiences and hardships, it occurred to me that God was doing this for a reason, which was to help me come back to my loving God. I prayed and prayed, and got help from my Christian friends to help me find a church. My friend went to an American church, but she realized that it would be easier for me to understand Japanese, so she introduced me to Pastor Fukiage from SDJCC. With the Pastor's warm heart and repeated prayer it helped me to find a peace within myself. I tried to attend the Wednesday prayer meeting permitting my husband's health and my job. I always faithfully went to the Sunday worship every week.
After six months, my husband was completely healed and was given a new job. Our family once again, attained peace throughout. If I had not followed nor have known Jesus, I know the results of my life would have been even more devastating. Mercy and hardships lead us closer to God and although God puts us through trials and tribulations, he also gives us a successful road to happiness. I believe in God's word, so I follow and walk day by day with Jesus. On Easter Sunday of 1976, I was baptized and I promised that I would never fall away from the Lord ever again. I thanked the Lord for giving and finding a church for me that worships in Japanese.
Lastly, this is my favorite bible verse." Come to me, all you who weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." ( Matt: 11:28)
When I was twenty-one years old, I married an American who had a relation with my brother through his business, and came to Kansas City, Missouri. That was forty-two years ago. After a while we had two sons. Then my first husband had problems with alcohol and other women, and obviously, I became very troubled. Later, I left home with my two sons. To support my two sons, I worked as a tailor. Three years later, I met my second husband and we had a daughter. During the first years of our marriage, our marriage was good, but after a while, he too was an alcoholic and also quit many jobs a number of times. Sometimes he would come home drunk wake us up and would yell at us.
Then my husband committed a crime and was thrown in jail for three years. During that time, I continued to work as a tailor and supported my three children. The mornings when it started to snow, I would wake my children up early in the morning, and would take them to the babysitter. This would always make me feel sad and helpless. Supporting 3 children, my only income came from working. If I were in Japan, my family could support me, but it was sad that I had to work hard in this country. Sometimes, I would think that if I didn't have children I could go back to Japan. Mentally I became very stressed and tired, and relations with my husband became even worse. After twenty years, I finally decided to divorce my husband. I gave my children a hard life, but my children were very supportive of me. Then my eldest son joined the Navy and gave half of his salary to me every month for support. My youngest daughter married a man working in the Navy and they both moved to San Diego.
Ten years ago, when I visited my son in law's family in San Diego, I met Mrs. Lyons through a friend from Kansas City, and attended church service a couple of times. Two years ago when I retired from my job which I had worked for thirty years, my daughter asked me to live down here with them because she knew Kansas City was cold. My eldest son lived in San Marcos and also decided to move to San Diego. Until then, I went to church a couple of times, but I didn't know much about Jesus Christ. I just thought that he was a famous historical person. I got involved in church by attending worship service and also joining a support group. I was moved by the kindness of the people at church and thought that this was the place where I could look for peace. Last year when I was asked what I wanted for Mother's Day by my daughter, I told her I wanted to go to the church retreat at Santa Barbara with my friends. She paid all of the money. There, I listened to pastor Tanaka and I felt peace in my heart. When the pastor asked whoever wanted to follow Jesus to please stand, I felt something and when I realized it, I was standing up. After that, Pastor Nakao prayed for me at the small group. I really started to enjoy listening to the sermon at the Sunday worship service. Even though people have hurt me in different ways, I never thought that I was a sinner because I had never done anything bad in particular to anyone. But now I understand that I am a sinner and Jesus died after suffering on the cross for me. I was able to accept Jesus as my personal Savior after I repented my sin and wrongdoings. I believe that my salvation was a miracle.
When I remember the past, there were many events both good and bad that I had to go through. I now believe that if it were not for the hardships, I know that I would never have come to church nor would I have ever believed in Jesus Christ. Psalm 119:71 says "It was good for me to be afflicted, so that I might learn your decrees." I truly cherish this verse because it has taught me to face adversity and thank God for them.
Lastly I will end this testimony with this verse, Hebrews 12:11: "No disciplin seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
When I was twenty-four years old, I left my job and I started to teach aerobic exercises. Then next year, I went to Los Angeles to study an aerobic exercise and to attend a fitness convention. It was my first time to visit the U.S.A. I was so relaxed and comfortable with the freedom in this country. I just loved it's atmosphere which helped me relax from my busy life. After that, I came for a visit every summer.
In the spring when I was twenty-seven years old, I became friends with a Christian lady. I was charmed by her wonderful character, and I started to go to a Bible study with her. That summer, I attended the Sunday services at the Orange County Holiness Church to which my Christian friend introduced me. My feeling was that "I'm home". I had been looking for this for a long time. I thought that the church would be able to accept me. A few days later, in the air plane, I watched the beautiful scenery of the Grand Canyon that moved my heart deeply. I thought that God be alive, because, such a wonderful would exists. I wrote a love letter to God, "God, I would like to work for you. Here I am!" God gave me the answer to my love letter immediately. After I returned to my country, He encouraged me to confess of my sins to my Japanese Christian friend. She prayed with me and encouraged me to accept Jesus. As I had been living under strong influences of many kinds of religions, it was hard for me to believe that Jesus was my personal God. I started pray about my hesitation.
One night in September 1989, as I prepared to go to bed, I considered this big question. Suddenly, I could not move being bound by evil power. I could feel Satan filling my room. He tried to attack me. I was so afraid of him. As soon as I got freedom from his binding, I went to bed. My fear was still very strong, so I repeated Jesus' name until I got to sleep. I was awakened abruptly by a voice saying, "I am the Lord". I was surprised because it was very clear. I was wondering who's voice was is? At the same time, I was still in my fear of Satan. I tried to go to sleep again and I called on Jesus. After a short time, I was awakened up by the same voice, It happened many times that night. Finally, I gave up, and I told Jesus, "I accept you, Jesus. You are my Lord and you are the only one God who created this world." At the moment, He gave me a special peace to my heart and He led me to a calm sleep. I heard the sound of thunder from a far. I thought that God had driven droned Satan away from me.
The next morning, everything was shining and so beautiful. I went to my office with my heart bubbling with joy. I was so happy, because I knew that Jesus had come to me. After the day, I repented of my sins to my Japanese Christian friend and then I confessed my faith. Finally, I got baptized in March 1990. The Bible says, "For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse" (Romans 1:17). Now, I am praying that I would work for His ministry. My prayer is the some as my love letter to Him that I wrote over the Grand Canyon.
As I got older I got into athletics. I wrestled in high school and practiced martial arts for a number of years. This helped me develop good friendships and improve my self-esteem. I remember once telling a man in my karate class who was a Christian that karate was my god. He showed his disagreement in a gentle way and I didn't give it much thought at the time. But Hal was the first Christian I met that seemed to really take his faith seriously. I went to college and there decided that I would pursue a career in Law Enforcement. I liked the idea of being a police officer. It seemed like a respectable job and something I could do well. Both were very important to me.
While in college I got a part time job in a gift shop at Disneyland. There I met several Christians. They were very different than any other people I had ever met. At the time I didn't understand why. But I just knew that they were a joy to be around. I developed some good friendships with them and became curious about their faith.
Then one Friday night a couple of the employees threw a party. There were Christians and non-Christians there. That night I got carried away drinking alcohol. I got very drunk and did some obscene things, some of which I had no recollection of doing. I was very embarrassed the next day. I had to go to work and was dreading facing my Christian friends. Knowing of their strong convictions against drunkenness and immoral acts, I thought that I had lost their respect and friendship, which would have been a devastating loss to me. However, much to my surprise they treated me no differently, not one of them. For the first time in my life I experienced unconditional love. I had never had anyone ever accept me just as I was--good with the bad. At that point I started asking more questions and visiting churches.
At one church I visited, the pastor said he wanted to meet with me. That week the pastor visited me and told me that Jesus Christ was God and he died on the cross as a sacrifice for my sins. He pointed out that the only way to have a relationship with God was to ask Jesus Christ into my life and to put him in charge of my life as Lord or Commander and Chief. My sister, Joy, and I prayed that Jesus would come into our lives that October night in 1980. I began to understand what was so different about those people I worked with at Disneyland. They had the peace of God. It is something that can only be understood by having a relationship with Jesus Christ.
When I decided to follow Jesus I gave him one condition: that I would never go door to door and try to convert strangers. Two months later I went to a Christian conference and on the last day we went to a shopping mall and shared about Jesus to total strangers. I was petrified, but it turned out to be a life changing experience for me. For the first time I saw that God could use even me to do his work. I saw that people were eager to know him. I got involved with a Christian group on campus that trained me how to share Christ with others.
Since that time I have had good times and bad, but God was always there. I was teased by my friends and family because of my new faith. My brother was probably the hardest on me ,but two years ago he also made a decision to follow Jesus.
I find no greater joy than to lead others to Jesus Christ who gives us eternal life in heaven and the peace that surpasses understanding. Presently I am in seminary, hoping to become a pastor someday.
"I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile." Romans 1:16
The very first time I learned about Jesus Christ was when I attended Kindergarten at a Christian run school. To be truthful, I dont remember much of anything that I had learned. Yet, I do remember that each day began with prayer and ended with prayer. The only one thing that I remembered from the Bible was to honor your father and your mother. Since then, and until I came here to San Diego, I didnt have anything to do with religion because I was never interested in practicing one faith.
My husband and I came to San Diego in June of 1990. A couple of months later we finally settled down. My husband told me that he wanted to start going to church. I didnt mind, so I said okay. My husband looked in the telephone book to find a church with the same beliefs that he grew up learning as a child. We started visiting an Assembly of God church, but I didnt understand anything the church members were talking about. Yet, we visited the church a few times anyway. My husband wanted to get me a Bible written in Japanese. He went to the store nearby and heard that there was a Japanese-speaking church in San Diego. We visited SDJCC in September 1990 for the very first time. We attended church a few times until the birth of my first daughter the next month. During those few visits, I just came to church without much interest in becoming involved with religion. Instead, my mind was filled with thoughts of the new coming baby and my future raising my child.
Right after the birth of my baby, I got less sleep each night and my body became exhausted. During that time, my husband said he still wanted to go to church with me, but all I wanted to do was to rest and to sleep. I didnt want to waste my time going to church. I told him to go all by himself since I knew in my heart that would never go without me. But, he did! Since the beginning of our marriage, we always did things together, so it made me so upset! During that time, we repeatedly argued about whether to attend or not to attend church. He wanted to go to church to learn more about the Bible, because he wanted to go to heaven after he dies. Yet, I was so angry. I believed that he could never go to heaven because I thought the reason he wanted to go to church as so selfish. I believed that the most special thing he had was his family, not God, not Jesus, nor his going to church. One day, he stopped going and we both stayed away from church.
After several months, I got used to taking care of my daughters needs. This time, I told my husband, Lets go to church again. I decided that I should to go back to church and adopt religion because of what my mother had told me. She said that she had been praying every day and night, because she believed that you just cant use your God (or ask God) only when you need Him or are in trouble. I agreed that one has to be faithful to God all the time, not only when one needs Him. Yet, that period in my life was very easy and smooth. So, I just couldnt get myself into learning about the Bible or anything. We ended up going to church just whenever we wanted. I hardly opened my Bible at home, either. Though, it wasnt very much, I did start to learn about Jesus little by little from the meetings and worships that I attended. Also, I could remember in my heart little by little what I did learn from the Bible. The concepts were basic. I learned not to speak badly about others, not to be jealous, not to envy, not to lie, and to be kind to others, and to put these concepts into practice in my daily life.
On the other hand, I started to feel like I came up against a wall. I could not find out what it was. I thought in my heart that Jesus had been teaching me what was good or bad, but I just couldnt understand how He could save me and why other people had said that He is a salvation. In those days, many sisters and brothers of the church started asking me if I was ready to be baptized. Perhaps, this was because I had been coming to church for a long time. It may be strange to say, but when I decided to want my religion, I set my goal to learn all about the Bible so I would be able to be baptized someday. However, during that time, I felt like I came to a dead end because I didnt know the most important thing one should know until I had an opportunity to talk to Pastor Nakao personally. That thing was the meaning of sin. I knew the fact that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Yet, I couldnt imagine that I was a sinner like the Bible described. I had never committed any crime since I was born. I had turned out to be a very fine person even though I had been through rough times. I always thought of the sinners in the Bible as persons who were criminals, or only historical figures who lived during those times when the Bible was written. I concluded that I was not a sinner. Yet, Pastor Nakao explained the meaning of sinner in the Bible to me. I was convicted of all the sins that I had done in my life by Jesus. I was so ashamed and saddened. When I realized that Jesus died for me and that He loves me so much, I felt so grateful. The big thick wall between Jesus and I was no longer there, for good.
For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly...But God demonstrates His own love towards us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:6-8)
I admitted myself as a sinner, and I prayed with Pastor Nakao to accept Jesus into my heart. Also, I spoke out about it to the sisters and brothers at the Thursdays prayer meeting.
After I had our second daughter, I was so busy with taking care of two small children and doing housework day by day. It seemed like there was no more life for me, and I was stuck with them forever. I felt so useless. Because of so much stress, I was so hard on my husband, and even on my two small children. I understood in my head that this was not going to last forever, only a few more years. Yet, I couldnt find a place where I felt comfortable. I had scolded and spanked my daughters more than they needed. Then I would regret what I had done to them. One day, I borrowed a tape from the church with a sermon by Rev. Mitsuo Fukuzawa. I listened to his message and was so moved by the gospel verse, Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Not only does Jesus give us peace in our hearts, but He also gives us love and hope. Again, I decided to walk my life with Jesus.
I understood how much Jesus loved me and I decided to follow Him. It was July 1993 when I began to think very hard about my wanting to be baptized. I started to read the Bible and to pray more often. However, I felt so shy about praying in front of my husband, or non-Christians. Sometimes, I forgot to say grace before each meal. Those events bothered me so much. I wondered if I was really ready to be baptized or not. I wasnt sure if Jesus and the brothers and sisters in the church would accept me. When I was struggling with my decision, I happened to hear that baptism is the starting point of a born-again Christian. It took all the pressure that I had been feeling off my shoulders. Here I am now.
Maybe at this moment, as a Christian I have the poorest Biblical knowledge of anyone in the whole world. Yet, today, I have decided to start off my brand new life with Jesus. I will try my best to be a faithful child of God. Of course, it cannot be done by only my decision and effort. I am wishing that God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost will give me power and lead me. I thank Jesus for changing my life by giving me love and hope.