Testimonies of SDJCC Members, November, 1998
Number 9 = Table of Contents =
| My Faith | Ed Akamatsu |
| God's Love | Michael Castoro |
| Meeting With Jesus | Yumi Castoro |
| Secure In the Faith | John Lyons |
| Saved From the Fear of Death | Kunizo Nakao |
| Abundant Love and Thankfulness | Eiko O'Brien |
A few years before World War II began, I lost my father who died of a heart attack. Shortly afterward, my mother sold Dad's business and we moved away from Venice to Los Angeles (Boyle Heights). We attended Buddhist services regularly. Soon, however, friends began to nudge me toward Christianity. I was invited to a nearby church where I was, eventually, presented with a gift - my first Bible.
During those prewar years, I attended school up through the high-school freshman class. I was an active teenager - but church held a low priority in my life. I offer no excuse for this. I know, now, that my priorities had needed attention then - even as they do, to a lesser degree, today.
In 1941, the war came and swept quickly through our lives like an ocean tidal wave. Almost immediately following the Pearl Harbor bombing, President Roosevelt announced the state of war with Japan. Within five months, our family was moved, by the U.S. Army, to an internment camp.
Our Buddhist priest (my former priest), Rev. Junzo Izumida, paid us a call after we had settled in. He left one of his many books with us, one he had authored titled Mahayana Buddhism. What I can remember about the 'god' in his book is that no Christian would ever find his god comforting or exciting. This god was neither 'all powerful' nor 'a personal and loving god' as we find the God of Israel.
Another book in my small collection made an equally lasting impression on me. It was written by William James, an American author. He said: "There are usually two opposite reactions to the argument for a 'Creator' - either a skepticism, or a 'willingness to believe'." I belonged to the second category, I'm sure, because I was always asking God for His help whenever I found myself in 'trouble.' A skeptic wouldn't call on a god he doesn't believe in and, then, anticipate help from him. The skeptic generally bets against God (i.e., not give Him the benefit of any doubt). Those 'willing to believe' will 'pull' for God (e.g., "find" reasons for His silence, etc.). In the summer of 1944, while still interned at Poston, I was one of those selected by the Draft Board. The following year, I was assigned to the all 'Nisei' regiment in Europe; but the war came to an end. Instead of warfare, I faced work(fare) at a busy encampment: working on a newsletter, guarding prisoners-of-war, repairing radios, and cleaning weapons. I'd often thought of hitchhiking to hear our Chaplain George Aki; but, one thing after another interfered with those 'good' intentions. I remember feeling guilt over that. I believe it was my 'Christian conscience' asserting itself. Returning to the United States, I joined my family which had returned to California. I saw that I would need a job to build our savings. Soon, I was employed by our local post office. I, also, took care of another matter - a spiritual one. I was led to the Japanese Presbyterian Church of Long Beach where I met my future wife - Michi. I began to attend church regularly after that.
With help from the G.I. Bill, I was able to graduate from UCLA (mathematics). I worked for two companies: one made aircraft and the other made computers and software. I provided them with studies and computer programs.
At, both, college and work, I discovered that many of my friends were concerned about the degradation of individuals (character and moral fiber) and of society. Was the solution more church or less church? Two views existed, both were extreme. They were upheld by: (1) those who felt that 'God' is either unnecessary or that his churches were the cause of many the problems and (2) those who interpreted the Bible so narrowly that they became untolerant. Which of those was right? My answer, now, is: neither one. I've decided that both were based on mistaken interpretations of the Scriptures, or the wrong (or no) 'religion,' or (3) uncritical thinking - 'lack of awareness' as Paul said in Romans).
Following our marriage ceremony, Michi and I lived in Los Angeles and, later, in suburban Gardena. Our children grew up before our eyes. I confess, now, that my idea of 'going to church,' really amounted to a little more than driving children to Christian day school and to Sunday School. But, we were fortunate that Michi did not need to work during the years the children needed her most.
We moved to San Diego during the early 1970's, and eventually, we were led to the San Diego Japanese Christian Church where we were baptized by Rev. James Toda.
Today, I find myself continuing to nurture my faith, but now, there is a difference. I feel God's presence more often in my thoughts - Pastor Brian advises me to keep talking with God. He has been an effective explainer of the Bible (55+) - and this has had a positive effect on my faith. I, also, thank Rev. Nakao for encouraging me to provide this testimony.
One day on the bus, coming home from high school, there was a Christian who was being teased by some other students. I wanted to sleep but the noise they were making kept me up. I told them to leave the Christian alone. The Christian thanked me. I told him to shut up and the only reason why I stood up for him was I wanted to sleep and I wanted to fight one of the people that were teasing him, but he kept trying to talk to me. After a few days I listened to him. We began to talk about God and he answered all my questions. He renewed my belief in God. I began going to Bible study and church with him. At this time I was involved with a lot of bad people and things. In my heart I believed in God, but I didn't change my life style. It was at this time that I asked Jesus to be my Savior. The verse I remember best is Romans 5:5. It says, "And hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." As I spent more time at church my friends became suspicious so I had to slow it down. After a while I stopped going to Bible study and church, but I was still praying and reading the Bible.
A time came when I knew I had to change something. I hated being in New Jersey, and if I stayed I would spend an awful long time in jail. I joined the Navy. The Navy was good for me. If I did my job I was left alone. I could go two weeks without having to really talk to any one. The people who I did talk to only wanted to hear "Yes" or "No" any way. I loved traveling and being in one spot for two or three year. I grew in Christ. I began going to church again. The Navy brought me to Japan where I met Yumi, and now I'm here until 1999. I'm not sure how God wants me to serve Him. I hope I will share God's love because his love is the greatest thing in the world. "And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." (1 Cor. 13:13)
Until he moved to Sasebo, he often talked about God, and I thought being a Christian made you a nice person. After we got married we moved to San Diego. I did not know anyone in San Diego, and my husband's ship often left San Diego. He did not return except every Friday. When he was out to sea I become lonely and emotionally ill. I cried and was mad everyday. The first Japanese person I met and got to know was my husband's bosses wife, but I did not really get along with her. I become more isolated and depressed and just wanted to stay at home.
Then I started to work at Natalie's Restaurant. Natalie was very nice and kind and invited us to come to this church. If I hadn't met Natalie, I would not have gone to church and made any friends there. When I listened to our Pastor's sermon I felt like my life became calm. Little by little I started to read the Bible. My husband read the Bible everyday and began to explain it to me. He answered my questions about the Bible. I began to believe in God and his existence, and I began to feel good. Last October my grandmother became seriously ill. I was living with her when I was in Japan. She would even send money after I moved to San Diego. I went back to Japan when I heard news of her illness. When I got there she was already unconscious. I said to my grandmother, "Thank you". When I said that I thought her eyelid moved. One hour later she died. I was very sad and lonely but said to God "Thank You." I don't know why I said that, but I have strong confidence that God is always with me and he leads my life.
1John 4:10 " This is Love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." God's love is clearly for us, he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Romans 8:35-39 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness of danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long: we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
I believe I am a sinner in front of God. Jesus was crucified for my sins, and on the third day he arose again. I believe that God will forgive my sins. I have confidence in God's deepest love. I want to learn more about God and Jesus Christ and to have the Holy Ghost help me in my life. I want to say thank you to God for letting me meet my husband, my friend Natalie, and for Natalie introducing me to church.
Over the years that followed I began to question my belief in God whether I even believed in God at all. The Bible is a nice book, but the word of God I don't know about that.
1991 I went to church camp with my wife. While there we both went up to the little chapel by Worthington hall. As I sat there looking out the window at the trees and rocks and bushes, it all became clear to me, God was showing me his power to create.
The Bible, now I understand the Bible, "Scripture is given by inspiration of God," by which I understand the whole Bible is inspired in the sense that holy men of God "were moved by the Holy Spirit" to write the very words of scripture.
The Bible now gives me strength, all of the answers are there, God has shown me the way to understanding. I believe that all the scriptures lead us to Lord Jesus Christ our Savior. I am secure now in my faith.
Soon after my father came back home, my mother got uterine cancer and was hospitalized. Therefore I never saw my mother until I became a second grade student. One day my teacher told me, "Your mother came home from the hospital. You can go home now." I ran home from school across some lots. I saw my mother wiping the floor with a damp cloth.
My mother was with us a while, and she was hospitalized again. My father built a new home behind the shop. We could welcome our mother to our new home after she came back from the hospital again. Our whole family got together at our new home. The new room which still had the smell of the new tatami mat became her sick room. A doctor visited her everyday for a week. After that she passed away. I was ten years old at that time.
The death of my mother affected my mind and body. I became a devious boy at school. I did not like the songs, "Ame, Ame, Fure, Fure" ("When it is raining, my mother will come for me with an umbrella.") and "Yamada no naka no." ("Scarecrow standing with one foot in the field.") I had no mother to come for me when it was raining. I felt bad when someone sang the other song to make fun of my handicapped father.
I got pleurisy disease after my mother passed away. I was not hospitalized, but I had to stay home and missed one year of school. Even after I could go back to school, I could not participate in the P.E. class. Twice a week I had to leave school early and go to the hospital. I remember I had to keep going the hospital until I got into the eighth grade.
My oldest sister who took care of us got married. Since she had no children, she loved me like her own child. My brother-in-law also loved me. One day he was killed in a traffic accident. It happened a few years after my sister got married.
I became afraid of death because I experienced the deaths of some of my family members and I became sick. Even after I became a high school student, sometimes I had to stay in bed because of a high fever. In bed I was thinking where I would go when I die. I also questioned what was the meaning of life if all of us shall die sooner or later.
At that time I was interested in the Bible. I bought a copy of the Bible from a neighborhood bookstore. I recalled that there was an ad for a Bible correspondence course in a magazine for high school students. I was looking for the ad from the back issues of the magazine which I kept in my closet. That was the start of my Bible study which still continues up to now.
I also listened to a Christian radio program. The program said, "Now we can talk to anyone in the world through the telephone because of the development of technology, but we cannot have open communication with people around us." These words made hit me. I did not like to speak to the people whom I didn't like, and hated in my heart. I became aware of my sin as I was reading the Bible. As I was studying the Bible through the correspondence course it became clear to me that Jesus Christ died on the cross and resurrected from the dead on the third day for saving me from sin.
I had a desire to go to a church. I passed by a church on the way to my junior high school. I tried to get into the church. I found a sign which said, "You can see the pastor Thursday only." It was Friday when I visited the church. As I went back home, I saw a poster on a fence of a house which said, "On Friday and Saturday there are meetings which include hymns and a Bible message." It was posted by another church, I came into the church with some trepidation. After some songs by the choir a guest speaker began to speak. He was Rev. Yousuke Furuyama who passed away some years ago. His message was very harsh. He pointed out our sins by quoting Jeremiah 17:1. It said, "The sin (of Judah) is written with a pen of iron; With the point of a diamond it is engraved on the tablet of their heart, and on the horns of your altars." He invited us to raise our hands if we wanted to accept Jesus Christ as our personal savior. I was able to raise my hand without any hesitation. One of the members of the church led me to confirm my faith in Christ. We had a private prayer time. I prayed to the true God and in the name of Jesus Christ for the very first time at that night. I found out later that he was one of the deacons and he was the one who put up the poster which I saw that afternoon.
On my way home I was singing a hymn which I had just learned at the meeting. "Since Jesus came into my heart..." The third stanza of this hymn says, "There's a light in the valley of death now for me, since Jesus came into my heart!" I was really released from the fear of death like this stanza said.
The Bible says, "Inasmuch then as the children have partaken of flesh and blood, He Himself likewise shared in the same, that through death He might destroy him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and release those who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage." (Hebrews 2:14-15)
Jesus Christ filled my empty heart. I received the love of God which is stronger than the love of my immediate family. I was sixteen years old at that time. The next Easter, I was baptized and grew up spiritually at the church. I really appreciate God's mercy. I have been able to work as a pastor only by the mercy of the Lord.
When I grew up, I had everything that I needed. My parents had a hard time raising me because all I wanted to do was party. Nineteen years ago, I married my husband and moved to San Diego. He was in the Navy, and after we moved to San Diego, his ship went out to sea for eight months. I was alone and in an unfamiliar place. One day I went to a Japanese store near my house, and the store owner asked me if I wanted to go to a Japanese church. When I went to church, everyone was nice and welcomed me. I didn't drive at that time, and I really appreciated the people that picked me up and took me to church. I was also thankful that I could hear the Bible message in Japanese.
After being in San Diego for three years, I was baptized on June 12th, 1983 at the church. I believed that Jesus was the son of God who saved me from my sins and the death. I can tell that I have changed since then. I was able to live peacefully in God's love. My husband finished the Navy after six years, and he found a civilian job. After that, he suddenly told me that we had to move back to New York. I was very sad because I had lived in San Diego for ten years. I was so sad that I couldn't stop crying for having to leave San Diego. But I believed firmly that God was always with me and wanted me to spread His word there.
We stayed in the country side in New York. The yard was very large, and it took two hours to cut the grass. We lived in Syracuse, and the winters were very long and cold. I was used to warm places like San Diego and Yokohama, so I hated the long winters in New York. Sometimes I wondered why God sent me to a place like New York. My husband would often go on business trips, and I was alone again. I often had close car accidents because of the winter hazards. I would pray to God, but God would always say not to be terrified because I am always with you.
I thought I would never go back to San Diego again, but after five years in New York, we got a chance to go back to San Diego. I was very happy when we finally got back to San Diego. But as soon as we arrived, I got very sick. I went to the doctor, and he told me that I might have cancer, and he wanted to run some tests. I cried on the way home and prayed to God. It turned out that it was not cancer but only an ulcer. I prayed to God to say thank you that it was not cancer.
When you blow up a balloon, you blow hard and try not to break the balloon. After you blow up the balloon, it goes up in the sky. Our life is just like a balloon and has suffering, sadness and hardships. But when you pray to God, our problems go up to the sky like a balloon to Jesus. I just want to say thank you to God because He is always with me.